Independent – Ownership

Independent – Ownership

photo courtesy of Dewin Anguas Barnette

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Two weeks ago, I helped a student re-certify at a stage combat festival in NYC. For those who are unfamiliar with stage combat, there’s a national organization, Society of American Fight Directors (SAFD), that trains and certifies actors in eight weapons. Every three years, you must re-certify (as you would for first aid or water safety) to stay current with the technique and recommendation of the organization. Personally, I wasn’t re-certifying in any weapons, but one of my responsibilities at the festival was to be available as a test partner.

Re-certifying involves learning fight choreography for the specific weapon and then performing it in front of a master teacher for review. Usually, there’s an audience of teachers and students in the room, adding to the over all nervousness that goes along with performing and testing.

So… I volunteered to partner with a student for his small sword test. And unfortunately, that is where my ownership of the experience started and stopped. I thought I was being helpful “just being his partner”, letting him lead the rehearsal process and giving him whatever he asked for. Because of this, I was holding back many things: a personal interest in my work, major skills I could utilize (teaching and coaching) and a point of view.

I failed to take the needed responsibility and OWNERSHIP for my work and with that a much needed focus and specificity. As a result, when the actual performance/test came I was unprepared for partner and myself. For the first time in my life I “choked” on stage; went completely blank in the middle of the fight!

Only later did I realize that the choreography wasn’t sticking in my muscles and brain because I had no interest in the work. There was no connective tissue or acting intention to make each piece of choreography need the next. Because I didn’t suggest we rehearse acting beats and intention, the choreography literally slipped out of my head. Thinking I was doing a noble thing by taking a back seat to my partner, I was actually ignoring what I needed in order to BE a good partner… I needed to be at my best, and I wasn’t… not by a long shot.

So… taking ownership. An essential step in any creative process, whether it’s writing music, cooking a meal, drawing a picture or designing a new room in your house. Without it we’re simply killing time, living in a bubble without marking the moment as ours. We’re denying ourselves the full experience, which is wild considering we’re going through the actions regardless. Why not make it an individual event? Why not live inside it?

SELF OBSERVATIONS:

1. When does ownership appear in your process?

2. Can you think of a specific moment when you didn’t have ownership in a creative process? How did it feel?

3. What’s the difference between ownership and ego?

 arts education Independence ownership performing arts progressive education responsibility